Saturday, November 26, 2005
I made a soldier weep
It was 5am when I got up to make the flight to San Diego. I made it! I survived my Family's Thanksgiving Dinner.
The object of the Thanksgiving Battle was the "Trust" set up to be a road map for my mother's assets upon her death. When it comes to our survival, both physical and emotional, it is dog eat dog. The battles fought over the battle field of a Thanksgiving Day Turkey roast was anxiety ridden. Gawd it was a stressful Thanksgiving! What did I expect tame animals for relatives? Hell no! According to my observations over the years, my family is not a reasonable family. Like the wild, my sister's kitchen wrought battles of kill or be killed. The psychological battles between my mother and my siblings raged! It was creepy when my mother lowered her voice and in her conspiratorial tone secretly discussed the terms with my brother. It seemed all the hurts over the years came forth. Thee catapults and bows trudged forward. Jagged rocks and poisoned arrows flew my direction in a triangulated abundance- instigated by my mother and brothers. Thank goodness I have a brother-in-law who could soothe wounded animals, this time because he understood the context of the "Trust." Dammit this was frustrating because earlier, my family begged me to get this Trust done. I was asked to take care of it because neither my siblings or my mother could mobilize to get it done. I am glad it is over with. Funny thing-I had told her (my mother) from the beginning-I don't want anything from the disbursement of her assets. All I want is peace.
Back in my safe comfy seat on the plane, I noticed this soldier's cammy uniform of digital dots. He was returning to Camp Pendleton and will be deployed to Iraq. Between our peanuts and orange juice, our conversation was sparce. I could tell he was nervous about traveling half way around the world to danger. I thought about this soldiers safety. It is a wonder to me how this country founded on Judeo Christian beliefs can spawn an accepting view of blood,torture, fear, and an arrogance of imposing a belief system on people who neither want nor have a comprehension of our version of capitalism and democracy. Thus, my sense of the world has a "me against you" feeling that is spiraling into a black hole. Though his talk to me on Iraq was brave, there was a nervy edge to it.When I wished him good luck and good speed, he felt my concern for his safety and we hugged. He turned away because he was near weeping. Where are the wise? All I want is peace.
The object of the Thanksgiving Battle was the "Trust" set up to be a road map for my mother's assets upon her death. When it comes to our survival, both physical and emotional, it is dog eat dog. The battles fought over the battle field of a Thanksgiving Day Turkey roast was anxiety ridden. Gawd it was a stressful Thanksgiving! What did I expect tame animals for relatives? Hell no! According to my observations over the years, my family is not a reasonable family. Like the wild, my sister's kitchen wrought battles of kill or be killed. The psychological battles between my mother and my siblings raged! It was creepy when my mother lowered her voice and in her conspiratorial tone secretly discussed the terms with my brother. It seemed all the hurts over the years came forth. Thee catapults and bows trudged forward. Jagged rocks and poisoned arrows flew my direction in a triangulated abundance- instigated by my mother and brothers. Thank goodness I have a brother-in-law who could soothe wounded animals, this time because he understood the context of the "Trust." Dammit this was frustrating because earlier, my family begged me to get this Trust done. I was asked to take care of it because neither my siblings or my mother could mobilize to get it done. I am glad it is over with. Funny thing-I had told her (my mother) from the beginning-I don't want anything from the disbursement of her assets. All I want is peace.
Back in my safe comfy seat on the plane, I noticed this soldier's cammy uniform of digital dots. He was returning to Camp Pendleton and will be deployed to Iraq. Between our peanuts and orange juice, our conversation was sparce. I could tell he was nervous about traveling half way around the world to danger. I thought about this soldiers safety. It is a wonder to me how this country founded on Judeo Christian beliefs can spawn an accepting view of blood,torture, fear, and an arrogance of imposing a belief system on people who neither want nor have a comprehension of our version of capitalism and democracy. Thus, my sense of the world has a "me against you" feeling that is spiraling into a black hole. Though his talk to me on Iraq was brave, there was a nervy edge to it.When I wished him good luck and good speed, he felt my concern for his safety and we hugged. He turned away because he was near weeping. Where are the wise? All I want is peace.
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Its very difficult to comment, especially about the soldier. This situation produces all kinds of emotions to me, mainly anger and frustration. Even though I am not affected, I just consider this unfair. Thanks for sharing.
I know, it is hard for me too discern all the emotions. Yes, I have the same emotions you have too. As for the soldier, regardless of his politics or brainwashing etc...the concern for his safety was real time and in the moment and we were both aware of it.
Have you seen the movie "Jarhead" yet? It made me weep for thsoe boys' lost innocence and the ravages of war.
# posted by 
: Sunday, November 27, 2005
: Sunday, November 27, 2005
Thank you for this entry, and thank you for commenting on this blog. I have so much to say on Iraq in general and I feel for those soldiers; he's probably the age of the students I teach. My husband was a soldier, and this was is making him nuts.
I also relate to your family trials. I didn't have to deal with that this thanksgiving (last one, yes), but Christmas is coming! My family is so screwed up that all I want to do is be away from them. I have a habit of detaching when I am disturbing; it's better than cursing the whole world out--I've done that too.
Your blog is great: intelligent and provacative. I want to link you if I haven't said that already.
I also relate to your family trials. I didn't have to deal with that this thanksgiving (last one, yes), but Christmas is coming! My family is so screwed up that all I want to do is be away from them. I have a habit of detaching when I am disturbing; it's better than cursing the whole world out--I've done that too.
Your blog is great: intelligent and provacative. I want to link you if I haven't said that already.
EOR,
Thank you! I respect your intelligence and I think your blog is great too. Forgive my naivete but what you do you mean by linking me?
Thank you! I respect your intelligence and I think your blog is great too. Forgive my naivete but what you do you mean by linking me?
Anonymous,
I did see the movie Jarhead. What I found interesting is the scene at the end where the returning soldiers were being welcomed and the vietnam veteran in tattered rags who wanted to shake their hand. Honor and vilification juxtaposed. We are fickle are fickle as a nation aren't we? It doesn't matter for me because I find no glory for anyone or thing in either war.
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I did see the movie Jarhead. What I found interesting is the scene at the end where the returning soldiers were being welcomed and the vietnam veteran in tattered rags who wanted to shake their hand. Honor and vilification juxtaposed. We are fickle are fickle as a nation aren't we? It doesn't matter for me because I find no glory for anyone or thing in either war.
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