Friday, November 11, 2005


Reciprocity in Love and Rapprochement-Complicitly!

This week, I had taken time to memorize this beautiful poem by William Butler Yeats:

"Wishes for The Cloths of Heaven"

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Those are my feelings too, for all the important people in my life including the women in my life both past, present and to come. In love's realm, it is through sustained resilience that I've survived and thrived from a loved one treading on my dreams.
Reciprocity in love and rapprochement together!

In my reflections today, It’s been sometime since the passing of my father and my break-up with my girlfriend. This, along with My son moving in for now because of his trauma with his mother's cancer and his conflict with her boyfriend and when you combine that with having to deal with my mother and her "Trust" and where her not so veiled threats of cutting me out of her "Trust" sent searing flames toward me-it can cripple and immobilize. None of the above have crippled me. It fact it did me no harm.
I acknowledge that it is a lot of shit so allow me to puke and puke again! There, I'm good with that! Reflecting back, all of it has made me a bit vulnerable. Even so, I’ve had strength to deal with these ravages and rampages thrown on my lap and it has a long way to go to reach my reserves.

Interestingly enough on the women aspect of this, I’ve survived and thrived and have lived a wonderful life with women! I feel I am becoming and I’ve never felt more confident about myself with women-especially when it comes to reciprocity in love and rapprochement. I’ve been intimate with several remarkable women. What occurred in the throes of deep passion, beauty and connection with them both good and bad, is how I've used reality and honesty as my guide. Manipulation has not been as powerful a factor as it once was. To be clear about my meaning of manipulation- I mean the complicit dance both men and women do to continue the insidious pathology, family of origins and the constant rake of narcissistic wounds. All of this, has for the most part been set aside as a non factor. I feel more ready to connect than at anytime in my life- connecting for the right reasons.

I've never felt so strongly about my commitment to this!

I cannot say what loves have come and gone,

I only know that summer sang in me

A little while, that in me sings no more.

The Philosopher

And what are you that, wanting you,

I should be kept awake

As many nights as there are days

With longing for your sake?
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Gosh, you are really a nice person. As a woman, this post makes me feel really good. Usually men make me feel like hell.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?